Last Night's Dream

Oh, wow. I have never been so happy to be awake in all my life. I had a horrible dream last night. Except that it wasn't so much a dream as a vague impression of what was going on. All I got was a picture of her face and indistinct feeling that it was happening again. But I'm getting ahead of myself. You see, a long time ago I had a friend who kind of stabbed me in the back, stole my best friend and the guy I liked at the time, and left. 

And here I am years later totally secure, loving life, and building strong relationships with people who really care about me. I'm happy! Pretty much the worst thing that could happen to me is this girl showing up in my life. See, she's skinny. She's gorgeous. Has about as much personality and sense as a twig. And the one thing she seems to be good at is hurting people. Case and point: after she took my best friend away from me, she used her to get to her brother. Then, after taking the guy I liked (who she knew good and well that I liked), she broke his heart!

So after I'd spent about an hour in the middle of the night last night fretting and trying to tell myself that I was being ridiculous, I realized that, with all the time that's passed, I still hadn't forgiven her. So then I had to spend an hour trying to get to the point that I can forgive her. I think I have. I'm pretty sure. I just can't tell.

Well, I think that God knows what I can and cannot handle in this life. I don't really think that He'd do that to me. And even if she does miraculously show up in my life one day, I know she can't wreak the same kind of havoc that she did way back when. The people I'm surrounded with today would know her for what she really is and wouldn't fall for any of her tricks. So I know I'm safe! But there's still that tiny irrational part of me that wants to be scared.

And now I'm going to be slightly distracted all day long. Which is bad because I have a pretty big day ahead of me. Mom's taking me shopping for my 80's costume. Hope you have a super-awesome day!!