On the subject of the tattoo idea mentioned in my previous post: I've decided (or all but) on what I want to get, if I decide to get it. The words "Once upon a time" in cursive, along with a quill pen, on the back of my left shoulder. This is something that would carry a lot of meaning for me, as it would be deeply symbolic of who I am as a writer. Writing is, somehow, the one thing about myself I never question. Everything else I do, all of my other talents and pursuits, I always wind up questioning and doubting eventually; but writing is something I always know for sure I'm supposed to do, no matter what else I'm doing. Moreover, I know that writing is something I'm never going to STOP doing. And beyond that, "Once Upon a Time" speaks of a new beginning, of the start of something, which is great. And fairy tales and dreamer's dreams and this song that's a huge piece of who I am.
But qualms: What if I get it now and regret it later? It could happen. And I can't stand the idea or the feeling of regret.
Is the fact that my grandparents are going to Freak Out enough of a reason to not go ahead with it? I could see Nana coming around eventually, she knows me well enough to, well, sort of, understand where I'm coming from with it. But I know Papaw would be hugely disappointed. Grandma would be mad at me, but more so at my mother, and I don't want to do that to Mum. Pawpaw, however, I really couldn't see caring. There are other people in my life, too, whose perception of me it might change. My aunts and uncles, cousins, my pastor and my youth pastor. But back of the left shoulder is an easily-enough concealed place to get it, and the way I figure it, if I'm wearing something that would allow it to be seen, I won't be in the sort of company that would be bothered by it. And I don't want to let other people's opinions shape the decisions I make, but I don't want to disappoint people I love and respect either.
Could it eventually cause problems with my professional life? Could it potentially cause problems for church ministry? I tried the other day to convince Mum (okay, I was more trying to convince myself) that these worries are unfounded, that we live in a different world than we did twenty years ago, that tattoos no longer carry the social stigma they did back in the day, not a mark of rebellion, merely self expression, etc. That doesn't mean I'm not still worried.
Mum raised the point of what if a hypothetical potential husband wound up disapproving. I confess it had crossed my mind, but I can't bring myself to be too bothered by it. Because, as closed-minded as it sounds, the kind of guy who would be bothered by me having a small, tasteful, serious tattoo in an easily-concealed place would, frankly, not be the kind of guy I would consider spending the rest of my life with. Because, if we differ on that point, how many other points would we differ on? If he's caught up enough in something so small, what other strongholds of legalism would there be in his life? And the reason I couldn't be with someone like that is plain and simple: I could Not raise my children in anything other than the complete joy and freedom in Christ that I myself have been raised in. A man who had a legalistic hang-up about tattoos, or any of the other things that often accompany it (secular music, Halloween, alcohol in moderation, social dancing, or any of the other things that frequently get attacked by my more dogmatic bretheren), wouldn't agree with me on that. I couldn't raise my kids in that "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!" mentality, so how could I marry a man who believed that way? So, logically, if a guy I was dating had a big problem with the tattoo, maybe it would be a good sign to reevaluate the relationship.
But even though I believe and mean that completely, it doesn't take away the worry about permanently marking my body without the permission of a Mr. Right I have yet to be convinced exists. Ugh.
So, obviously, I have yet to make a concrete decision. But, the thing is, I really want it. I want to do it, I want to go through with it, I want to have it!! :/ I guess I'm going to have to think some more about this.
Pray about it. If it's easily concealed I don't see a problem with it. And you can't always live your life worrying about what other people think (including family). I mean value their opinions but you don't want to resent them one day because you didn't do something you wanted to do. Believe me, it's a worse feeling than regret... I say that not only because of my position on tattoos but thinking about different things in my life that I wanted but worried about this person and that person. I completely agree with you about Mr. Right not liking it... I encourage you to pray about it (something I never did with mine). I do have one or two I wish were different but I don't necessarily regret any because they are symbolic of who I was then (if they don't still apply which most do). Anyway that's my 2 cents. :) I love ya girl and support you either way. You have to decide for you and no one else. I like the idea though.
ReplyDelete